The coronavirus pandemic with children: how to cope with school closures

The closure of schools and universities is a major challenge for families. Although many workplaces allow their staff to work from home, this is not the case for everyone. Organising a system for working together at home is not easy, either for those who still have to go to work or for those who can do so from home. What can we do to maintain peace of mind, take responsibility for one another, and work together with our family members without constant conflict?

The coronavirus has triggered major shifts in society. Alongside government measures, there is an increasing emphasis on individual prevention, personal responsibility and community-led initiatives to protect the community. The reason for this is currently less about the severity of the virus than about slowing its further spread. The majority of the population can weather the coronavirus, but we all want to protect our loved ones who fall into the higher-risk into high-risk groups. As a result, by taking personal responsibility and organising our time at home, we may be able to curb the spread of the virus within the country as effectively as possible. We have endeavoured to provide relevant insights, suggestions, questions and answers regarding the numerous organisational issues that have arisen.

Assessing the options

The sudden health and economic crisis has also brought about changes in family dynamics. The closure of schools, universities and other institutions that look after children presents a serious challenge for all of us. We suddenly have to sort out childcare, help with distance learning at home and ensure a calm family environment, whilst parents’ ability to work is also called into question. Working from home is not a viable option for everyone; even for those who do work from home, it will not be easy to manage when a child (especially a young one) requires constant attention. Relying on grandparents is not recommended, asking neighbours for help is probably not an option for many, and even local communities do not offer a genuine solution for everyone. 

The current situation is forcing us to rethink and reorganise the day-to-day running of our family in line with the circumstances. We need to identify what options are available to us to make changes as quickly and smoothly as possible. Do we perhaps have a close contact with whom we could organise childcare? Would we be willing to take on small-group childcare in the local area? Could we take turns with family members or neighbours, or could we call on volunteers for help? Are there any possibilities or ideas for reorganising our work or utilising new resources?

Family meeting

To foster family harmony, it is definitely worth getting together with family members to discuss the options and ideas. This should involve not only the parents, but the children as well, especially once they reach school age. It is important that let’s keep them informed about the current situation, using language and going into as much depth on the subject as their age allows and requires. Children are generally keen to take on responsibility, provided we let them. Of course, we need to assess what they are capable of and what they are mature enough to handle, but at the same time, it can mean a great deal to them if we involve them in family discussions and ask for their opinions and commitments. This can also help them to become responsible, thoughtful, team players and resourceful individuals in life. They are often capable of coming up with surprisingly sensible suggestions. 

In most cases, teenagers are already capable of looking after younger children for a few hours, provided, of course, that certain rules are agreed upon in advance and jointly established rules along these lines, whilst also taking into account whether they are happy to do so. This could involve the parents retreating to their study for the time being, or leaving the room altogether. 

We can draw up a plan setting out who is responsible for what, what each task involves, and when we’ll organise it. Just like when we divide up the housework amongst ourselves. Children, whatever their age, love working together, the action planworks that they created together, from which everyone was able to take something, which is visually meaningful to all of them, and which shows that they are trusted.

Revised agenda

To put a plan together, you need a daily routine. The younger a child is, the more important it is to give them a sense of security. A regular daily routine is a key part of this. Being away from childcare settings disrupts the routine the child has become accustomed to, which can undermine their sense of security, even if they are at home instead of at nursery, pre-school or school. It is therefore important to organise life at home and to try to establish a daily routine as soon as possible. This refers to general times for waking up, eating, playing, going out for some fresh air and going to bed.

It’s worth thinking about the activities and games that children enjoy doing on their own, without adults, so that we can use the time this frees up for other tasks – but we should definitely set aside time for playing together as well. We should bear in mind that, just like parents, slightly older children (aged 7 and over) also need a bit of time on their own now and then. Perhaps an afternoon rest period could even become a regular part of the daily routine, when the younger children have their afternoon nap, whilst the older ones retreat for a while to send messages, read or study, depending on when they feel they have the most energy to tackle their schoolwork. This way, we too have the opportunity to make the most of these few quieter hours.

Social relationships and gadgets

Although staying at home means doing without certain social interactions, let’s not cut ourselves off completely! Social interaction is important for both children and adults in maintaining their mental wellbeing. Let’s give our children the opportunity to nurture their relationships, whether virtually or in person in the fresh air.  Although face-to-face contact is not recommended, the occasional outing to places that are not particularly popular can be important for supporting our immune system. When organising these, however, we must ensure that we keep group sizes small and agree on rules together to ensure that social distancing and hygiene are maintained! As well as providing opportunities for online communication, let’s continue to make sure they don’t spend too much time in front of screens! And, of course, let’s try not to do so ourselves either. 

Virtual moving images may overstimulate the brain, which is not beneficial either to the child’s development or to family cooperation. Now that teaching will also take place online, it is even more important that we set appropriate limits on the use of devices. Let’s try to take into account the WHO’s recommendation, particularly with younger children. It’s worth paying even closer attention to the younger ones because, if older siblings and parents are forced to spend longer periods in front of a screen, the little ones will want to do the same. Instead, let’s set aside time for shared moments together, when we tell stories to the little ones, whether from a book or off the top of our heads. They can then use their imagination to develop the stories they’ve heard even further, drawing, painting or modelling with play dough to bring them to life. 

The basis of the cooperation

We have to recognise that change is difficult for all of us. This includes the children, even if they’re currently happy about the sudden break. That’s why this it won’t be a summer holiday after all, and they will probably have to face many difficulties, just as we do. And our own stress can easily rub off on them. We must be patient and understanding towards one another. The basis of genuine cooperation is active listening, sharing our own honest thoughts and feelings, and mutual trust. These three values and skills are essential for creating a safe and harmonious atmosphere at home – for both adults and children. Let’s help our children express their feelings, concerns and ideas! Let’s have faith in their abilities, listen to them and involve them in our daily lives! Let’s support teachers and help make online learning a reality, as it has taken us all by surprise! Let’s be patient, listen to one another, and share our honest feelings so that we can truly find the right solution together! Let’s show that we trust one another, for there is strength in unity!

Originally published on: divany.hu, 16 March 2020.